I think i sorta joined a cult last night
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Randomize
