yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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