Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
