dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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