the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
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