No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
