i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
is this the sara with the beer cane?
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
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