grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
I just want to make out with him forever
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
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