Fine. I'll sleep in my office
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
i need some magic done to my vagina
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
