She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
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