I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
