yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
