I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
I think we might need a safe word for this...
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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