Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize
