They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
