I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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