Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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