which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
