Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Randomize
