I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Semen is not good for contacts.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
