Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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