who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
