okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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