ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Randomize
