YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Randomize
