My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Randomize
