We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
