Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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