i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
My liver just had a heart attack.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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