Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
