I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
