I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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