Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Randomize
