I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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