Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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