your room smells of hookers.
And success
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
