Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
