i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
