I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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