Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
youre lurking in front of me
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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