nut hugger
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
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