Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Randomize
