Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
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