maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
Sober January is a disaster.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
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