So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Ladies don't puke and tell
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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