TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
