Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
