i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
