you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
