Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
