WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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