never play flip cup with pint glasses
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
