How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize
