I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize
