you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Randomize
