i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
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