u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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