I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Randomize
