Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Success! We fucked roommates!
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
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