butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize