you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
