so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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