This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
