She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Randomize
