yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
areolas are like halos for boobs.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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