forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Randomize
